Whenever there is a party coming up, why does the female mind suddenly think it has nothing to wear, when clearly it has a wardrobe full of dresses, skirts and various other apparel. I know this is true, because I have been faced with this ludicrous frame of mind each time I receive an invitation.

 You have a perfectly fine dress that you brought about a month ago; however, over the week leading up to the event your conscience suddenly tells you that you need a new one. Simply because you seem to wear it all the time - even though you don’t. As you come to realise that you have no money, your mind goes from one extreme to another. It beings to conjure up some random outfit - comprising of royal blue tights, black t-bar heels and an embellished black smock dress - all of which you have no idea exist and where they might indeed lurk! (Royal blue tights, surely American Apparel?)

 The next best thing to do is ask your father for some money, in which the following conversation takes place:

‘ Daddy, would you care to give me some money to buy a dress?’

‘No, not particularly.’

‘Oh please Dad! It’s not like I work!’

‘Well you quit your last job.’

‘Yeah! Because the pay and hours were rubbish!’

‘Hmm.’

This is the part where you become discombobulated. What are your next options? Call your sister, who lives in North London and would force you to trek it to Bond Street after school to pick up the money. Continue to harass your father, he can only say ‘no’ for so long right? Wear a different dress? Don’t go out this weekend and save money - no thanks.

 You have six days (and counting), knock off Saturday though because you’re busy in the afternoon. So you now only have five days, which aren’t even days because you’re at school for a good six hours each day. So after school you decided to go into town, on the prowl for a piece of fabric, perfectly tailored to your shape and size. However, you suddenly become hungry. As you step off the bus, right in front of you sits Subway and next door is Warehouse.

Meatball Sub vs. gorgeous dress.

So which do you choose?

?

By Petrina De Gouttes